Well boys and girls, we are off and running. I know my last email was the first week of January and so much has happened since then. Mom has had a tough time, she was angry or upset most of the time and it was hard to handle in real life and I did not really feel like writing about it. Kathleen, David and Monica were great sources of venting and in inspiring new ideas for dealing with the day to day of this, but writing the same sad story everyday was not going to happen.
When I am sitting with Mom and she is venting in her way, it is a real challenge not to insert my own fearful words for hers and hear that she does not want to come home, she is mad at me for choosing the wrong things, she hates me. It is all I can do to muster the knowing that this is my fear, and I do not understand one word of what she is actually expressing. But the closer it came to moving her home, the bigger that challenge became for me.
The weeks leading up to her arrival at my house included moving around every room in my house, ordering everything Mom might need, coordinating the medical equipment with the hospital, making lists and more lists...all the while trying not be terrified, yet knowing this was what I had to do, feeling it was the right thing with every fiber of my being.
I had the pleasure of nagging the staff regularly and being just baffled at the common sense ineptitude that surrounded me. For my final words on Manor Care, the Reno facility was far better than the Wingfield facility, but still seriously lacking in real concern for mom and listening to me as mom's spokesperson just didn't happen. I had to pitch a fit on numerous occasions for various reasons ranging from care, to therapy over and over again. The discharge process was just the final nail in the coffin, as it went about like the discharge from Renown, we were up and ready to go, Mom sitting in her chair for over 2 hours, and we waited for the numbnuts to finish final paperwork, give me her meds, get us transportation.....despite the fact that I had been following up on these details with everyone involved almost every day the last week...are we good to go? Do I need to assist with anything? No, no everything is on schedule, no problems. So my final parting words were not pleasant which I had hoped would not be the case, but oh well, I said what needed to be said and have no regrets.
Once Mom got out the front doors everything changed. The tears and anger I had been fighting all morning disappeared. Mom liked the ride in the cab, really looking around at the world. David made some awesome ramps for the steps into the yard and into the house, Willie painted them mostly pink. Mom smiled at them as we wheeled her in the house. Mom seemed a bit nervous as we got in the house, she stayed up for a bit, but after three hours in the chair and me on a parting rant, I think she was exhausted. Willie and I put her in bed and she was instantly relaxed, looking content, checking out her room, as I pointed out certain touches I added just for her, especially in view while she was in bed. Her smile, which I had not seen in weeks, returned. Whew!
I now believe Mom was saying get me the hell out of here!!!
What's taking so long!!!
Mom ate half a twice baked potato patty for lunch, visibly grateful for food with flavor. On Saturday morning I made her a fried egg and potato, she looked like she went straight to heaven with the first bite, and even made the yum sound. Mac n cheese for dinner was a hit. Pancakes on Sunday morning were ok, but when I fed her a beef stew soup on Sunday afternoon she ate like she had not in years. It was great till she ate too much and felt that full belly feeling which was not too pleasant, but did not last too long either so that's good.
But the best moment of the food weekend was when Monica showed up after work with an éclair yesterday. Mom's eyes popped out of her head, and before Monica could return from the kitchen with a spoon, Mom had snatched that container off the table and onto the bed in front of her. We laughed, and I made Mom sit up in bed. She refused Monica's help, took the spoon and ate about an eighth of that éclair, crust and all, completely by herself. Scooping big old bites and relishing every bite she took. It was fantastic, also confirming my belief that Mom could chew just fine. We took pictures and Monica posted on Facebook. I'll post pics here as we go, but I am still figuring out how this new life will look for all of us, so that has not been a priority.
It will be a big week with lots of visitors for the home care process. Nurse Lyn came Saturday, and we like her. She advocated for real food, she understood the demands on the family, she loves her job. Score. Lyn will come twice a week for a couple of weeks then at least once a week as we move forward. Her main job is to make sure Mom's heart, lungs and skin are good, plus she is the case manager for all the therapy.
We are definitely reassigned to Dr. Maul, which means acupuncture will resume and I'm very happy about that. She will see Mom once a week.
Mom will have one hour each of PT, OT and Speech, although here we will focus on speech. Mom is eating fine and will continue to improve, we need some communication!!!
So my conclusion for the weekend is complete success. Mom is relaxed and happy, her sense of humor is in full play. We've had a couple of moments of angst, but they were very short, and I am sure we will have those moments as we move on. I have them in my healthy life, so to be expected. Mom is sleeping twelve hours through the night and eating and smiling. The fear is visibly gone from her body, she is so relaxed. Life is good.
Talk to you soon, thanks for all the love that helped lead us here.
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