I knew that Mom would be requiring therapy and such when she got home. I knew I would need help with her while I was at work. It concerned me a little bit, but around Christmas time I met a woman who did home care, she was a CNA and she was available. Excellent.
Her name was Melissa and she came to the hospital a few times to meet Mom and get a feel for what I was looking for. The fit seemed perfect, and I was thrilled. Sugar McSugarson soon got a mouth full of salt. An hour and a half before her first shift on Monday, Melissa bailed. Not only did she bail, but she did not even have the decency to contact me herself, I got a text message from her baby daddy. I was completely deflated. Willie stepped in to be here till David came after work. But, damn, I was not prepared for this cog in my wheel.
We did the same schedule on Tuesday with Willie and David, a friend of mine stepped in and did the long stretch on Wednesday and Monica knew a person who took Thursday. This was all put in place by 6pm Monday night, so I felt pretty lucky.
Christina, who came on Thursday, is a young CNA who works in a long term care facility. She is going to take a few hours a couple of days a week and She introduced me to her friend Taylor, who will work the other two days. Taylor works at the same facility as Christine.
Cascades, where they work pays them $9.50 an hour....pathetic.This really is easy money for these kids and they are thrilled. So am I.
Now I just have to keep the calendar straight for Mom's in home mini clinic. Here are the cast of characters you will hear about regularly:
Dr. Maul, Nurse Lyn, PT Marty, OT Lauren, Speech Michelle, CNA Christina, CNA Taylor.
May the Force be with me.
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Strength, Coordination, Determination
It goes without saying that Mom has coordination issues, and severe weakness on her right side. She has a bit of shakiness in her left hand, but not all the time. Despite all of her deficits, Mom is smart and determined to do things on her own. A good thing most of the time.
Thursday night I came home from work to find Mom had almost completely removed her brief. I bought new ones the night before and they are more like underwear than the giant diapers we have been using from the hospital, the material is a bit softer and they have some soft elastic at the waste. And they do not have the Velcro closing. The are like underwear. The size is a little bit big, which is good for comfort, but Mom moves around so much that this night she must have bunched them up and they were bugging her, because she was not wet at all. From the view of what she physically accomplished. Whoa.
She managed to get the brief off on the left side. This means she brought her leg up close enough to her chest to get her foot out of the leg hole, and used her left hand to maneuver the material. The right side of the brief had been torn completely open like the regular diaper. This was not an easy task. I tore the other side to see how difficult it was. While it was fairly easy for me I had to get a good grip and pull a bit to get a tear going because of the elastic at the waist. Mom did it with one hand. The brief was completely removed from underneath her with only a small portion on the right side stuck under her right thigh. She was working on this when I walked in the room.
She had visible relief when she saw me. I could tell by the look on her face she had been working at it for awhile. I said, Hi Mom, looks like you could use some help. Her reply an audible Yeah. Upon closer inspection discovering just how far she took the process. I was so pleased. She confirmed that the brief was bugging her and chose to have the hospital diaper instead.
Now yesterday, we did our thing all day. Mom was restless in the bed, but refused to get up. I am not fighting with her about this...yet. However, I do reinforce that moving makes everything better and laying in bed 24 hours a day is not the road to recovery. She just rolls her eyes at me or sometimes she nods and shrugs. I just keep speaking the truth.
Nurse Lyn came by around 1:30 to check all Mom's stuff. BP good, Heart good. Lungs good. Skin good. Mom was not in the mood for company, it has been a big week, but she suffered through.
I told Mom earlier that I would have to go to the grocery store after Nurse Lyn left. I repeat things often because Mom is clear and present most of the time, occasionally she is someplace else. She seemed to understand and she nodded when I said I was leaving. Willie was home with her to make sure she was breathing and fix her tv if she pushed a wrong button. I was gone about an hour and a half. Bank. Gas. Food.
When I returned I went straight in to see Mom. The door was closed, if both tvs are going you need the barrier and Willie was watching a movie. I opened the door to find Mom had thrown all her blankets and pillows to the floor. I asked her, Hey what's going on in here, Mom.. I asked Willie how long since he looked in on her said about 20-30 minutes. I tried to put things back in place and she just threw stuff back on the floor. OK, there is no denying that Mom can make herself clear. I shifted her back to the middle of the bed, checked to make sure she was clean and dry and went about the business of unloading the truck.
Last night at dinner time, Mom ate 3/4 cup of clam chowder. This is the most she's eaten in one sitting that I have seen, with the exception of the éclair, lol. We saw with the éclair, Mom is perfectly capable of feeding herself if her left hand is not shaking, and the food sticks to the spoon. Clam chowder is not one of those items, so feed her. I blended the soup for the most part, but I left a few small bites of potato so she can practice chewing. She did fairly well, but lost a couple of bites of the bigger potato out the right side of her mouth. But when she drank water during dinner, she insisted on holding the bottle and drinking herself, no straw. Mom does seem to have a bit of trouble with depth perception and sometimes it takes a try or two to get the bottle where it needs to be at her lips.. But she tries hard and there's a towel under her chin, so more power to her.
I cleaned up dinner and such and came back sometime later, probably 40 minutes or so, to give Mom her evening meds. She was angry and not having any of it. I figured she was still full from dinner and said I would come back later, which I did. Half an hour later she was just as angry, and refusing to take her meds. I reached for the tube and she yanked it out of my hand...OMG pissed off, we've all seen that look on Mom's face. I calmly talked to her and presented my case for cooperation. Nope. I reached for the tube again and she about came unglued. She pulled in the tube so hard, I checked to make sure she didn't pull it out. Oh she's stubborn. She must have seen the fear on my face as she softened up just a bit, babbling at me, not screaming, but she took the end of the tube, held it up almost teasing me and stuck it inside her pajama top, put her left hand over it and gave me the challenge look, like, "Go ahead, get it now, bitch." This made me laugh and while she was not amused, I just calmly told her through my laughter, I will not fight with you, this is your choice and I hope it does not send you back to the hospital.
Week one done. Learned a lot, and looking ahead.
Thursday night I came home from work to find Mom had almost completely removed her brief. I bought new ones the night before and they are more like underwear than the giant diapers we have been using from the hospital, the material is a bit softer and they have some soft elastic at the waste. And they do not have the Velcro closing. The are like underwear. The size is a little bit big, which is good for comfort, but Mom moves around so much that this night she must have bunched them up and they were bugging her, because she was not wet at all. From the view of what she physically accomplished. Whoa.
She managed to get the brief off on the left side. This means she brought her leg up close enough to her chest to get her foot out of the leg hole, and used her left hand to maneuver the material. The right side of the brief had been torn completely open like the regular diaper. This was not an easy task. I tore the other side to see how difficult it was. While it was fairly easy for me I had to get a good grip and pull a bit to get a tear going because of the elastic at the waist. Mom did it with one hand. The brief was completely removed from underneath her with only a small portion on the right side stuck under her right thigh. She was working on this when I walked in the room.
She had visible relief when she saw me. I could tell by the look on her face she had been working at it for awhile. I said, Hi Mom, looks like you could use some help. Her reply an audible Yeah. Upon closer inspection discovering just how far she took the process. I was so pleased. She confirmed that the brief was bugging her and chose to have the hospital diaper instead.
Now yesterday, we did our thing all day. Mom was restless in the bed, but refused to get up. I am not fighting with her about this...yet. However, I do reinforce that moving makes everything better and laying in bed 24 hours a day is not the road to recovery. She just rolls her eyes at me or sometimes she nods and shrugs. I just keep speaking the truth.
Nurse Lyn came by around 1:30 to check all Mom's stuff. BP good, Heart good. Lungs good. Skin good. Mom was not in the mood for company, it has been a big week, but she suffered through.
I told Mom earlier that I would have to go to the grocery store after Nurse Lyn left. I repeat things often because Mom is clear and present most of the time, occasionally she is someplace else. She seemed to understand and she nodded when I said I was leaving. Willie was home with her to make sure she was breathing and fix her tv if she pushed a wrong button. I was gone about an hour and a half. Bank. Gas. Food.
When I returned I went straight in to see Mom. The door was closed, if both tvs are going you need the barrier and Willie was watching a movie. I opened the door to find Mom had thrown all her blankets and pillows to the floor. I asked her, Hey what's going on in here, Mom.. I asked Willie how long since he looked in on her said about 20-30 minutes. I tried to put things back in place and she just threw stuff back on the floor. OK, there is no denying that Mom can make herself clear. I shifted her back to the middle of the bed, checked to make sure she was clean and dry and went about the business of unloading the truck.
Last night at dinner time, Mom ate 3/4 cup of clam chowder. This is the most she's eaten in one sitting that I have seen, with the exception of the éclair, lol. We saw with the éclair, Mom is perfectly capable of feeding herself if her left hand is not shaking, and the food sticks to the spoon. Clam chowder is not one of those items, so feed her. I blended the soup for the most part, but I left a few small bites of potato so she can practice chewing. She did fairly well, but lost a couple of bites of the bigger potato out the right side of her mouth. But when she drank water during dinner, she insisted on holding the bottle and drinking herself, no straw. Mom does seem to have a bit of trouble with depth perception and sometimes it takes a try or two to get the bottle where it needs to be at her lips.. But she tries hard and there's a towel under her chin, so more power to her.
I cleaned up dinner and such and came back sometime later, probably 40 minutes or so, to give Mom her evening meds. She was angry and not having any of it. I figured she was still full from dinner and said I would come back later, which I did. Half an hour later she was just as angry, and refusing to take her meds. I reached for the tube and she yanked it out of my hand...OMG pissed off, we've all seen that look on Mom's face. I calmly talked to her and presented my case for cooperation. Nope. I reached for the tube again and she about came unglued. She pulled in the tube so hard, I checked to make sure she didn't pull it out. Oh she's stubborn. She must have seen the fear on my face as she softened up just a bit, babbling at me, not screaming, but she took the end of the tube, held it up almost teasing me and stuck it inside her pajama top, put her left hand over it and gave me the challenge look, like, "Go ahead, get it now, bitch." This made me laugh and while she was not amused, I just calmly told her through my laughter, I will not fight with you, this is your choice and I hope it does not send you back to the hospital.
Week one done. Learned a lot, and looking ahead.
TV
Last weekend, I was cleaning the living room and when we had cable installed the week before, the cable guy made a God Almighty mess of my organized cords and plug strips. I was having an, I can't deal with this right now moment, so I just shoved everything back behind the living room TV and moved on. Nary a minute passed and I heard Mom yelling from the other room. I rushed right in there to find her TV had been disconnected. I laughed because I have been asking Mom to yell for me if she needs something. I got her a bell, but she has not rung that yet, and just laughs at me when I regularly suggest it. I have a baby monitor as well, so I can hear her and I tell her if you don't want to ring the bell, just yell for me I can hear you. I was amused that the TV was the first reason she found dire enough to yell for me.
I told her I was sorry and crawled behind the TV to fix the problem, thinking that's what I get for being lazy, lol. All was well within minutes.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Today's Poop
The story has to be told...
Mom had a rough night. I was up with her for over an hour after I came home from work. She had not pooped in 5 days. I knew her belly was hurting, and she let me rub it a bit and during her change she let me keep her on her side and rub her back. I gave her some Tylenol and after awhile it seemed to help some, either that or exhaustion forced her back to sleep.
I have genuine concern about this and send Willie to the store for prune juice first thing. In the meantime, Monica shows up and scours my kitchen for some Smooth Move Tea with success. Mom has some juice, some meds, some water while the tea steeps. Nurse Lyn is due at 12:30-1, so poop is my highest priority with her.
Poop and a spot on Mom's back I am keeping an eye on. Mom will not remain in a pillowed position, she moves and squirms around till she gets the pillows to the floor and achieves some version of her favorite on her back position 24 hours a day. This is not good. However, Mom does move a lot and that is a good thing, the poop has kept her in bed. But, Mom is wanting to get in her chair these days, so I am not super worried about the spot, but a bedsore would be sooo bad. We've got enough to deal with as it is, so I want to head off trouble anyway I can.
I did not feed Mom any food because I did not want to make things worse. I kept a regular dose of juice and water going hoping to flush her out.
In the meantime, She had PT at 9, OT at 11, and Nurse Lyn came at 1:30. Big Day.
The plan with PT Marty was to get Mom up and dressed, so Marty could see how Mom did with these activities. But Mom was so uncomfortable, I did not want to force her out of bed. Marty understood and worked with Mom in the bed, moving her limbs and working on getting to know her better. Marty laid out things we could do as far as exercise goes, but none of this was anything we are not already doing. We are veterans now. Marty will be coming Monday and Thursday next week and we will just keep moving forward. Overall I really like how Marty interacts with Mom and Mom seemed to respond well to her despite her poop problem.
OT Lauren came in at about 11:30. This was her first visit, so we went through the intake process and she gave Mom the once over. Lauren is going to come once a week for now, and will increase this as necessary. The reason being that Mom is new to the home routine and she does not want her to be overwhelmed with all the folks coming and going. Mom is already doing basic tasks like brushing her teeth , so Lauren felt that PT was the primary work at this point and we will take things a week at a time. Fine by me, I am pretty much on the day to day plan myself, lol.
By the time Nurse Lyn got here, Mom was in considerable discomfort, but actually dealing with it rather well. A scrunched up facial expression, but no moaning or crying. I told Lyn my concerns and she was equally concerned. Mom's heart, lungs, BP, and skin check were all good. Lyn agreed that we should keep an eye on the spot, but said it still looked good. She praised me for Mom's hydration and overall good health. Lyn told me she would help with the poop by manually helping the process start. Mom's eyes flew open wide as she put on her gloves and began to explain what she was going to do. before we could even roll Mom over, the avalanche of poop began.
As I have said in the past, who knew I would ever be this intimate with my mothers bowel functions, but here we are. Lyn and I almost danced a jig for the poop. Lyn laughed and told Mom that just the threat of manual stimulation loosened her right up. We opened Mom's briefs and began the clean up process. It was too late to save the sheets, poop was everywhere and more was coming. Lyn said just let her go and as we prepared for the sheet change, we just kept the mess contained as best we could.
The first thing that came to my mind was how much better her poop smelled that when she was in the hospital. I know this sounds gross, lol, but the hospital poo was absolutely rank, and it took awhile to air out the room afterwards.
Mom pooped for 20 minutes. Visible relief showing on her face. I know she felt better for the release, but I think some of the relief was over avoiding a finger up her butt, lol. I was so grateful that Lyn was there for this, as I would have been rather overwhelmed by the messy clean up. The next thing I was grateful for was that this did not happen while my friend Danielle was sitting with Mom. We dodged a bullet there.
Lyn and I got Mom cleaned up and settled in her bed before Danielle showed up. Lyn told me she wanted to see some excrement that was more solid and told me to watch for that. Yeah, ok.
I gave Danielle they lay of the land, and in showing her how to give Mom water, I just administered her evening meds early. One bit of water ignited more poop and it was a perfect opportunity to show Danielle how to change Mom. The stool was still very loose except for one golf ball sized hard ball of poop that appeared. I believe that was the last of the hospital cement food coming out, I recognized the smell.
After Mom was finished, clean and settled again I asked her if she was hungry, she practically screamed YES! Danielle and I laughed and fed her a big bowl of her new favorite food, stew. She consumed nearly half a cup and I was just thrilled.
I had to go to work, so I left Mom in Danielle's capable hands, crossed my fingers, said a prayer and went to earn a couple of bucks. Danielle came down to see me at work after she left at 9p with a good report. Mom did poop again, she was not interested in eating, she took some water orally and was sleeping soundly when she left. All good news. Poopageadon was over. Now we can get down to some serious regular food and poop schedule.
Have a great day, my people.
Mom had a rough night. I was up with her for over an hour after I came home from work. She had not pooped in 5 days. I knew her belly was hurting, and she let me rub it a bit and during her change she let me keep her on her side and rub her back. I gave her some Tylenol and after awhile it seemed to help some, either that or exhaustion forced her back to sleep.
I have genuine concern about this and send Willie to the store for prune juice first thing. In the meantime, Monica shows up and scours my kitchen for some Smooth Move Tea with success. Mom has some juice, some meds, some water while the tea steeps. Nurse Lyn is due at 12:30-1, so poop is my highest priority with her.
Poop and a spot on Mom's back I am keeping an eye on. Mom will not remain in a pillowed position, she moves and squirms around till she gets the pillows to the floor and achieves some version of her favorite on her back position 24 hours a day. This is not good. However, Mom does move a lot and that is a good thing, the poop has kept her in bed. But, Mom is wanting to get in her chair these days, so I am not super worried about the spot, but a bedsore would be sooo bad. We've got enough to deal with as it is, so I want to head off trouble anyway I can.
I did not feed Mom any food because I did not want to make things worse. I kept a regular dose of juice and water going hoping to flush her out.
In the meantime, She had PT at 9, OT at 11, and Nurse Lyn came at 1:30. Big Day.
The plan with PT Marty was to get Mom up and dressed, so Marty could see how Mom did with these activities. But Mom was so uncomfortable, I did not want to force her out of bed. Marty understood and worked with Mom in the bed, moving her limbs and working on getting to know her better. Marty laid out things we could do as far as exercise goes, but none of this was anything we are not already doing. We are veterans now. Marty will be coming Monday and Thursday next week and we will just keep moving forward. Overall I really like how Marty interacts with Mom and Mom seemed to respond well to her despite her poop problem.
OT Lauren came in at about 11:30. This was her first visit, so we went through the intake process and she gave Mom the once over. Lauren is going to come once a week for now, and will increase this as necessary. The reason being that Mom is new to the home routine and she does not want her to be overwhelmed with all the folks coming and going. Mom is already doing basic tasks like brushing her teeth , so Lauren felt that PT was the primary work at this point and we will take things a week at a time. Fine by me, I am pretty much on the day to day plan myself, lol.
By the time Nurse Lyn got here, Mom was in considerable discomfort, but actually dealing with it rather well. A scrunched up facial expression, but no moaning or crying. I told Lyn my concerns and she was equally concerned. Mom's heart, lungs, BP, and skin check were all good. Lyn agreed that we should keep an eye on the spot, but said it still looked good. She praised me for Mom's hydration and overall good health. Lyn told me she would help with the poop by manually helping the process start. Mom's eyes flew open wide as she put on her gloves and began to explain what she was going to do. before we could even roll Mom over, the avalanche of poop began.
As I have said in the past, who knew I would ever be this intimate with my mothers bowel functions, but here we are. Lyn and I almost danced a jig for the poop. Lyn laughed and told Mom that just the threat of manual stimulation loosened her right up. We opened Mom's briefs and began the clean up process. It was too late to save the sheets, poop was everywhere and more was coming. Lyn said just let her go and as we prepared for the sheet change, we just kept the mess contained as best we could.
The first thing that came to my mind was how much better her poop smelled that when she was in the hospital. I know this sounds gross, lol, but the hospital poo was absolutely rank, and it took awhile to air out the room afterwards.
Mom pooped for 20 minutes. Visible relief showing on her face. I know she felt better for the release, but I think some of the relief was over avoiding a finger up her butt, lol. I was so grateful that Lyn was there for this, as I would have been rather overwhelmed by the messy clean up. The next thing I was grateful for was that this did not happen while my friend Danielle was sitting with Mom. We dodged a bullet there.
Lyn and I got Mom cleaned up and settled in her bed before Danielle showed up. Lyn told me she wanted to see some excrement that was more solid and told me to watch for that. Yeah, ok.
I gave Danielle they lay of the land, and in showing her how to give Mom water, I just administered her evening meds early. One bit of water ignited more poop and it was a perfect opportunity to show Danielle how to change Mom. The stool was still very loose except for one golf ball sized hard ball of poop that appeared. I believe that was the last of the hospital cement food coming out, I recognized the smell.
After Mom was finished, clean and settled again I asked her if she was hungry, she practically screamed YES! Danielle and I laughed and fed her a big bowl of her new favorite food, stew. She consumed nearly half a cup and I was just thrilled.
I had to go to work, so I left Mom in Danielle's capable hands, crossed my fingers, said a prayer and went to earn a couple of bucks. Danielle came down to see me at work after she left at 9p with a good report. Mom did poop again, she was not interested in eating, she took some water orally and was sleeping soundly when she left. All good news. Poopageadon was over. Now we can get down to some serious regular food and poop schedule.
Have a great day, my people.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Angle Love
Aruna also brought Mom a crystal angel. Mom's first day home we worked together to find the perfect place for the Angel to hang so Mom could see it every day. It was afternoon at the time and when I held the angel in the window it picked up the afternoon sun and spread a blanket of rainbows all around the room. Mom nodded yes and we hung it permanently in this spot. Every after noon the same blanket of rainbows fills the room and Mom points them out to me as she sees them.
This morning I had not pulled the curtains back yet and Mom pointed to the window, so I would open them. Her face lit up when the angel appeared. We will take those happy moments anyway we can get them.
Mom's new PT, Marty came today. Mom was not feeling good and she did not sleep well last night due to the fact that she has not pooped...yes, we are back to Mom's poop. Mom was not happy when I prepped her for Marty's arrival, so I was not sure how it would go. I just hoped for the best.
I love it when I get my wish! Marty was great with Mom. She got her right limbs extended and taught Monica and I a few exercises we can do with Mom regularly to increase her range of motion and keep progress moving forward on the weak side as well as strengthening the strong side. Marty will come twice a week to begin with, which is a visit more than I expected, so cool. She also told me that if she thought Mom would benefit from more weekly visits, she would ask for them. I was happy to hear that. I asked Marty if insurance had the final say and she told me with home care, she had never been denied an increase in visits with a patient who was working hard.
Mom worked hard today, very little complaining till the end of the hour, which is fair, so I am pleased with everything. Mom is watching a little Judge Judy while we wait for Lauren, the new OT to arrive.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Fun Mail
Thanks, Kathleen, this was the highlight of today, we both felt the love.
Monday, January 26, 2015
Home
Well boys and girls, we are off and running. I know my last email was the first week of January and so much has happened since then. Mom has had a tough time, she was angry or upset most of the time and it was hard to handle in real life and I did not really feel like writing about it. Kathleen, David and Monica were great sources of venting and in inspiring new ideas for dealing with the day to day of this, but writing the same sad story everyday was not going to happen.
When I am sitting with Mom and she is venting in her way, it is a real challenge not to insert my own fearful words for hers and hear that she does not want to come home, she is mad at me for choosing the wrong things, she hates me. It is all I can do to muster the knowing that this is my fear, and I do not understand one word of what she is actually expressing. But the closer it came to moving her home, the bigger that challenge became for me.
The weeks leading up to her arrival at my house included moving around every room in my house, ordering everything Mom might need, coordinating the medical equipment with the hospital, making lists and more lists...all the while trying not be terrified, yet knowing this was what I had to do, feeling it was the right thing with every fiber of my being.
I had the pleasure of nagging the staff regularly and being just baffled at the common sense ineptitude that surrounded me. For my final words on Manor Care, the Reno facility was far better than the Wingfield facility, but still seriously lacking in real concern for mom and listening to me as mom's spokesperson just didn't happen. I had to pitch a fit on numerous occasions for various reasons ranging from care, to therapy over and over again. The discharge process was just the final nail in the coffin, as it went about like the discharge from Renown, we were up and ready to go, Mom sitting in her chair for over 2 hours, and we waited for the numbnuts to finish final paperwork, give me her meds, get us transportation.....despite the fact that I had been following up on these details with everyone involved almost every day the last week...are we good to go? Do I need to assist with anything? No, no everything is on schedule, no problems. So my final parting words were not pleasant which I had hoped would not be the case, but oh well, I said what needed to be said and have no regrets.
Once Mom got out the front doors everything changed. The tears and anger I had been fighting all morning disappeared. Mom liked the ride in the cab, really looking around at the world. David made some awesome ramps for the steps into the yard and into the house, Willie painted them mostly pink. Mom smiled at them as we wheeled her in the house. Mom seemed a bit nervous as we got in the house, she stayed up for a bit, but after three hours in the chair and me on a parting rant, I think she was exhausted. Willie and I put her in bed and she was instantly relaxed, looking content, checking out her room, as I pointed out certain touches I added just for her, especially in view while she was in bed. Her smile, which I had not seen in weeks, returned. Whew!
I now believe Mom was saying get me the hell out of here!!!
What's taking so long!!!
Mom ate half a twice baked potato patty for lunch, visibly grateful for food with flavor. On Saturday morning I made her a fried egg and potato, she looked like she went straight to heaven with the first bite, and even made the yum sound. Mac n cheese for dinner was a hit. Pancakes on Sunday morning were ok, but when I fed her a beef stew soup on Sunday afternoon she ate like she had not in years. It was great till she ate too much and felt that full belly feeling which was not too pleasant, but did not last too long either so that's good.
But the best moment of the food weekend was when Monica showed up after work with an éclair yesterday. Mom's eyes popped out of her head, and before Monica could return from the kitchen with a spoon, Mom had snatched that container off the table and onto the bed in front of her. We laughed, and I made Mom sit up in bed. She refused Monica's help, took the spoon and ate about an eighth of that éclair, crust and all, completely by herself. Scooping big old bites and relishing every bite she took. It was fantastic, also confirming my belief that Mom could chew just fine. We took pictures and Monica posted on Facebook. I'll post pics here as we go, but I am still figuring out how this new life will look for all of us, so that has not been a priority.
It will be a big week with lots of visitors for the home care process. Nurse Lyn came Saturday, and we like her. She advocated for real food, she understood the demands on the family, she loves her job. Score. Lyn will come twice a week for a couple of weeks then at least once a week as we move forward. Her main job is to make sure Mom's heart, lungs and skin are good, plus she is the case manager for all the therapy.
We are definitely reassigned to Dr. Maul, which means acupuncture will resume and I'm very happy about that. She will see Mom once a week.
Mom will have one hour each of PT, OT and Speech, although here we will focus on speech. Mom is eating fine and will continue to improve, we need some communication!!!
So my conclusion for the weekend is complete success. Mom is relaxed and happy, her sense of humor is in full play. We've had a couple of moments of angst, but they were very short, and I am sure we will have those moments as we move on. I have them in my healthy life, so to be expected. Mom is sleeping twelve hours through the night and eating and smiling. The fear is visibly gone from her body, she is so relaxed. Life is good.
Talk to you soon, thanks for all the love that helped lead us here.
When I am sitting with Mom and she is venting in her way, it is a real challenge not to insert my own fearful words for hers and hear that she does not want to come home, she is mad at me for choosing the wrong things, she hates me. It is all I can do to muster the knowing that this is my fear, and I do not understand one word of what she is actually expressing. But the closer it came to moving her home, the bigger that challenge became for me.
The weeks leading up to her arrival at my house included moving around every room in my house, ordering everything Mom might need, coordinating the medical equipment with the hospital, making lists and more lists...all the while trying not be terrified, yet knowing this was what I had to do, feeling it was the right thing with every fiber of my being.
I had the pleasure of nagging the staff regularly and being just baffled at the common sense ineptitude that surrounded me. For my final words on Manor Care, the Reno facility was far better than the Wingfield facility, but still seriously lacking in real concern for mom and listening to me as mom's spokesperson just didn't happen. I had to pitch a fit on numerous occasions for various reasons ranging from care, to therapy over and over again. The discharge process was just the final nail in the coffin, as it went about like the discharge from Renown, we were up and ready to go, Mom sitting in her chair for over 2 hours, and we waited for the numbnuts to finish final paperwork, give me her meds, get us transportation.....despite the fact that I had been following up on these details with everyone involved almost every day the last week...are we good to go? Do I need to assist with anything? No, no everything is on schedule, no problems. So my final parting words were not pleasant which I had hoped would not be the case, but oh well, I said what needed to be said and have no regrets.
Once Mom got out the front doors everything changed. The tears and anger I had been fighting all morning disappeared. Mom liked the ride in the cab, really looking around at the world. David made some awesome ramps for the steps into the yard and into the house, Willie painted them mostly pink. Mom smiled at them as we wheeled her in the house. Mom seemed a bit nervous as we got in the house, she stayed up for a bit, but after three hours in the chair and me on a parting rant, I think she was exhausted. Willie and I put her in bed and she was instantly relaxed, looking content, checking out her room, as I pointed out certain touches I added just for her, especially in view while she was in bed. Her smile, which I had not seen in weeks, returned. Whew!
I now believe Mom was saying get me the hell out of here!!!
What's taking so long!!!
Mom ate half a twice baked potato patty for lunch, visibly grateful for food with flavor. On Saturday morning I made her a fried egg and potato, she looked like she went straight to heaven with the first bite, and even made the yum sound. Mac n cheese for dinner was a hit. Pancakes on Sunday morning were ok, but when I fed her a beef stew soup on Sunday afternoon she ate like she had not in years. It was great till she ate too much and felt that full belly feeling which was not too pleasant, but did not last too long either so that's good.
But the best moment of the food weekend was when Monica showed up after work with an éclair yesterday. Mom's eyes popped out of her head, and before Monica could return from the kitchen with a spoon, Mom had snatched that container off the table and onto the bed in front of her. We laughed, and I made Mom sit up in bed. She refused Monica's help, took the spoon and ate about an eighth of that éclair, crust and all, completely by herself. Scooping big old bites and relishing every bite she took. It was fantastic, also confirming my belief that Mom could chew just fine. We took pictures and Monica posted on Facebook. I'll post pics here as we go, but I am still figuring out how this new life will look for all of us, so that has not been a priority.
It will be a big week with lots of visitors for the home care process. Nurse Lyn came Saturday, and we like her. She advocated for real food, she understood the demands on the family, she loves her job. Score. Lyn will come twice a week for a couple of weeks then at least once a week as we move forward. Her main job is to make sure Mom's heart, lungs and skin are good, plus she is the case manager for all the therapy.
We are definitely reassigned to Dr. Maul, which means acupuncture will resume and I'm very happy about that. She will see Mom once a week.
Mom will have one hour each of PT, OT and Speech, although here we will focus on speech. Mom is eating fine and will continue to improve, we need some communication!!!
So my conclusion for the weekend is complete success. Mom is relaxed and happy, her sense of humor is in full play. We've had a couple of moments of angst, but they were very short, and I am sure we will have those moments as we move on. I have them in my healthy life, so to be expected. Mom is sleeping twelve hours through the night and eating and smiling. The fear is visibly gone from her body, she is so relaxed. Life is good.
Talk to you soon, thanks for all the love that helped lead us here.
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